Do I Want To Should I Can I Mario Sergio Cortella's Guide To Life Choices

Hey guys! Ever feel like you're at a crossroads, unsure which path to take? We all face tough choices, and sometimes it's hard to know what's the right thing to do. But what if there was a simple framework to help us navigate these decisions? Well, Brazilian philosopher and writer Mario Sergio Cortella offers just that with his powerful question: "Do I want to? Should I? Can I?"

This deceptively simple question delves into the heart of decision-making, forcing us to confront our desires, obligations, and capabilities. By breaking down our choices into these three core components, we can gain clarity and make more informed, responsible decisions. So, let's dive deeper into each aspect of Cortella's question and explore how it can help us in our daily lives.

Do I Want To?: Unpacking Your Desires

The first part of Cortella's question, "Do I want to?", is all about tapping into your inner desires and aspirations. It's about acknowledging what truly motivates you, what sparks your passion, and what aligns with your values. It's so easy to get caught up in external expectations – what our parents want for us, what society deems successful, or what our friends are doing – that we often neglect to ask ourselves what we truly desire.

This is where genuine self-reflection comes in. Take a moment to disconnect from the noise and ask yourself: What makes me feel alive? What am I passionate about? What are my long-term goals? What brings me joy and fulfillment? Dig deep and be honest with yourself. This isn't about fleeting whims or superficial cravings; it's about identifying the desires that resonate with your authentic self.

For example, let's say you're considering a career change. Maybe you've been working in a stable but unfulfilling job for years, and a new opportunity has presented itself. The first question you need to ask yourself is, "Do I want this?" Does this new career path align with your passions and interests? Does it offer the kind of work that you find meaningful? Will it contribute to your overall sense of purpose and happiness? If the answer is a resounding "yes," then you've cleared the first hurdle. However, if the answer is lukewarm or a definite "no," then it's a sign that you need to explore further and potentially reconsider your options. It’s crucial to remember that neglecting your desires can lead to resentment, burnout, and a general feeling of dissatisfaction with life. When you align your choices with your true desires, you're more likely to be motivated, engaged, and ultimately successful in your endeavors. However, wanting something is only one piece of the puzzle. We must also consider the ethical and practical implications of our desires, which leads us to the next crucial question.

Should I?: Navigating Responsibilities and Ethics

Now that you've identified what you want, the next crucial question is, "Should I?" This delves into the realm of ethics, responsibility, and the impact your choices have on others and the world around you. It forces us to consider whether our desires align with our values and principles, and whether pursuing them is the right thing to do, even if it benefits us personally.

This aspect of Cortella's question is about more than just following the law; it's about moral responsibility and integrity. It asks us to consider the potential consequences of our actions and to ensure that we're not harming others or compromising our values in the pursuit of our goals. It requires a deep understanding of our social contract and the obligations we have to those around us. For example, you might want to take a shortcut that would save you time and effort, but should you if it means cutting corners and potentially jeopardizing the quality of your work? Or you might want to say something that would make you feel good in the moment, but should you if it would hurt someone else's feelings or damage your relationship?

The "Should I?" question also extends to our long-term responsibilities and the broader impact of our choices. Are we being responsible citizens? Are we contributing positively to society? Are we considering the environmental impact of our decisions? These are all critical considerations that fall under the umbrella of "Should I?" In the context of our earlier career change example, let's say the new opportunity is in a field that pays significantly more but involves working for a company with questionable ethical practices. While you might want the higher salary and the prestige, you need to ask yourself, "Should I?" Is it worth compromising your values to work for a company that you don't believe in? Will you be able to live with yourself knowing that you're contributing to something unethical? This question demands careful consideration and a willingness to prioritize your principles over personal gain. It’s about aligning your actions with your conscience and ensuring that you’re living a life of integrity. However, even if you want something and should do it, there's one final hurdle to overcome: Can you actually do it?

Can I?: Assessing Your Capabilities and Resources

Finally, we arrive at the third part of Cortella's powerful question: "Can I?" This is where we assess our capabilities, resources, and the practical feasibility of pursuing our desires. It's about acknowledging our limitations, understanding the challenges ahead, and determining whether we have what it takes to succeed. It encourages a realistic evaluation of our skills, knowledge, time, financial resources, and support system.

This isn't about being pessimistic or limiting ourselves unnecessarily; it's about being pragmatic and strategic. It's about understanding that even if we want something and should do it, we might not be able to achieve it if we lack the necessary resources or face insurmountable obstacles. For instance, you might want to start your own business and you might believe that it's something you should do to achieve your professional goals. But do you have the necessary capital, business acumen, and market knowledge to make it a success? Do you have a solid business plan? Do you have a support network of mentors and advisors who can guide you? If the answer is no, it doesn't mean that you should abandon your dream altogether. It simply means that you need to take a step back, assess the gaps in your capabilities and resources, and develop a plan to bridge those gaps. This might involve taking courses, gaining experience in the industry, saving up capital, or building your network.

In the context of our career change example, let's say you want to switch to a completely different field that requires specific skills and qualifications. You believe it's the right move for your long-term happiness and fulfillment. But can you realistically make the transition? Do you have the necessary education or training? Are you willing to invest the time and effort to acquire those skills? Are there opportunities in your desired field, and are you competitive enough to secure a job? These are all crucial questions to consider. Perhaps you need to take night classes, pursue a certification, or gain some relevant experience through volunteer work or internships. The "Can I?" question is about identifying these practical steps and determining whether you're willing to commit to them. It's about setting realistic expectations and avoiding disappointment by ensuring that your ambitions are grounded in reality. Only when we've honestly assessed our capabilities and resources can we make truly informed decisions and increase our chances of success.

Putting It All Together: Making Informed Choices

So, how do we use Cortella's "Do I want to? Should I? Can I?" framework in practice? The key is to approach each question with honesty, self-awareness, and a willingness to explore the complexities of your choices. There may be times when all three questions align perfectly – you want something, you should do it, and you can do it – and in those cases, the path forward is clear. However, more often than not, you'll find that there are tensions and trade-offs to consider. Perhaps you want something, but you're not sure if you should do it because it might have negative consequences for others. Or maybe you want something and you should do it, but you're not sure if you can because you lack the necessary resources or skills. In these situations, it's important to weigh the different factors carefully and make a decision that aligns with your values, your goals, and your overall sense of well-being.

This framework isn't about providing easy answers; it's about fostering critical thinking and encouraging you to take ownership of your choices. It’s about making conscious decisions rather than simply drifting along with the currents of life. It's also worth remembering that the answers to these questions can change over time. What you want today might not be what you want tomorrow. What you should do in one situation might not be what you should do in another. And what you can do at one point in your life might not be what you can do at another. Therefore, it's important to revisit these questions regularly and to adapt your choices accordingly. Cortella’s framework is a tool for lifelong reflection and decision-making, helping us to navigate the complexities of life with greater clarity, purpose, and integrity.

Conclusion

Mario Sergio Cortella's simple yet profound question – "Do I want to? Should I? Can I?" – provides a valuable framework for making informed and responsible choices in all aspects of life. By honestly examining our desires, ethical obligations, and capabilities, we can navigate life's complexities with greater clarity and purpose. So, the next time you're faced with a decision, take a moment to ask yourself these three powerful questions. You might be surprised at the insights you gain and the positive impact it has on your life.